The Ties That Bind
by Scarlet Shayde
Summary: Raven's leaving the Teen Titans and she doesn't tell anyone why, except Starfire. Now the two friends must keep their friendship alive while making sure Raven can't be found by the others. But what will happen when something shocking happens to Raven that no one saw coming?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi! I got the idea for this fic out of nowhere and immediately started writing. It's mainly a friendship fic about Raven and Star, about how their friendship is strong enough that they're more like sisters. There is a pairing and slight romance later, but it is ****_not _****the focus of the story. This is just how I saw Star and Raven's friendship enduring even if Raven had to leave and live on her own. So, I hope you enjoy it! Reviews are alway welcome, advice and feedback are always helpful–**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Teen Titans. The storyline is MINE, though.**

**Scarlet Shayde**

Raven went over the list in her head, making sure she hadn't left anything out. Her room was completely bare now, all of her things moved to the apartment she had just leased. A note was left on the door to her former room. It read:

_"In town for the day. Don't know when I'll be back. Don't call or bug me."_

She figured it would keep the other Titans off her tail until the next morning, leaving her plenty of time to find someone who could disable the locating device in her communicator.

Raven didn't want to do this. She didn't want to leave without saying a word. After all, the Titans were her family, the only real family she'd ever had. But he'd hurt her, so much more than she would ever have shown. And now, with that feeling still inside her... She couldn't work with him. Her emotions were impossible to keep under control when he was near, and she'd already blown up a few things, wrecked a few rooms. (Needless to say, Cyborg wasn't happy about that.) If they got in a _real_ fight when she was this out of control... People could get hurt. No, people _would_ get hurt. It wasn't so much a possibility as an inevitability when she felt this degree of pain in her soul.

Raven took a last, long look at her empty room, then raised her hood to cover her eyes. She summoned up her powers and teleported into a park in the city that she'd guessed would be unoccupied. From here, she would walk. There was less chance she'd draw attention to herself that way, although she knew too well there was no way to avoid notice completely. She kinda stood out.

Striding down the street, she followed her mental map to an electronics store. It wasn't very well known or big, but word was that they could do discreet, off-the-books alterations and repairs. It was just what she needed.

A bell jingled as she pushed open the slightly squeaky door. The man behind the counter looked up. If he recognized her, he thankfully didn't mention it.

"I need you to take the locating capabilities off this," she said, cutting right to the chase as she slid her communicator across the counter. The man looked at it for a second, taking in the large 'T' emblazoned across the front. If he hadn't known who she was before, he certainly did now.

"How fast do you need it done?" he asked, looking up from the device.

"As soon as possible. Make it a rush order or whatever," she answered. "I definitely need it done today."

The man looked at her contemplatively. "I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you don't want this one on record anywhere."

A corner of the superhero's mouth twitched up in an almost-smile. "I was never here. How soon can it be done?"

He smiled. "I can get someone on it immediately. If you give him a few minutes, he'll be able to give you a much better idea." At Raven's nod, the shopkeeper turned and shouted, "Hey Spike! Get up here, I got a job for you." A moment later, a small man dressed in a mechanic's uniform stuck his head out of the back room. Seeing the woman across the counter, he paused, then his face broke into a huge smile.

"Hey! Raven, right? You're one of Cyborg's teammates," Spike said, shaking her hand enthusiastically. "How is the big guy?"

A small but genuine smile graced Raven's lips. "He's doing great. I'm glad to see you're still doing okay after getting out from under Atlas's thumb."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm doing fantastic. I got this nice job, and now I can work on cars and gadgets alike," Spike replied, still grinning. "So what can I do for you?"

"I need the locator taken out of my communicator," she said, gesturing to it.

Spike frowned a little. "Oh. You okay?"

"Not really," she answered, a sad smile replacing the one she'd had earlier. "It's nothing Cy's done, of course," she rushed to add, seeing the worried look on the mechanic's face, "but I need to be able to talk to certain members of the team without them being able to find me."

"Aw, kid," Spike said, distressed. "You really gotta leave?"

Raven wasn't surprised he'd put the pieces together–he was pretty smart, after all. "I wish I didn't have to, but there's no other way. I just... I just want to be able to keep in touch with them, but they can't find me. I don't want them to try and convince me to come back. It's better this way," she finished, turning her violet eyes down.

Spike sighed. "Okay. This tech is pretty advanced, I can tell you that straight off. But I can get that done in a few hours. Can you come back then?"

"Yes," Raven replied. "Spike, I know this is asking a lot, and I know it's not very likely that the Titans will check here, but if they do, can you please not tell them?"

"Of course," he answered immediately, somewhat surprising her. "Cyborg may have defeated Atlas, but the rest of you were good to me too, you know. I'm grateful for that."

"Thank you," she said, feeling relieved. "I'll let you get to work, then. I'll be back in a few hours to pay and pick it up."

With a tiny wave to Spike and the shopkeeper, she left the store in a swish of blue fabric.

"What do you think happened to make Raven, of all people, want to leave the Teen Titans?" the shopkeeper asked the mechanic, frowning.

"Something big, and something bad," the solemn mechanic replied.

**A/N: So there's the start of my new story. You'll find out more about what exactly happened to poor Raven later. I try to update stories weekly, but if I can't make that work I'll post as soon after as I can. Hope you liked the beginning of this new fic!**

**Reviews are wonderful things. **

**Love, **

**Scar.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This is more of just a fill chapter, before I get to the ****_real_**** stuff. Note: the ****_real_**** stuff is so far from any situation I could ever see Raven getting into, just warning ya. Heh. **

**Thanks to The Last Poison Apple for her review. You rock!**

**Scarlet Shayde**

Starfire stood in the common room, watching Beast Boy and Cyborg try to play a video game while at the same time wrestling in an attempt to get each other to mess up the controls.

"Have either of you seen Raven?" she asked brightly. "I am hoping to journey to the mall of shopping and I very much wish for her to accompany me!"

"Nope!" they both shouted, absorbed in their game. Starfire quickly decided the two boys wouldn't be of any help in her endeavor. Leaving the common room, she flew through the halls and up the stairs to the roof, which she immediately saw to be empty. Walking down another hall to the dark girl's room, she noticed a small white note taped to the door. Pulling it off, she read it quickly and shrugged. Replacing the paper in case anyone else came looking for Raven, she set out to find her boyfriend. Robin would probably come with her to a movie or something, and she always loved the theater.

Exactly three hours after she had left the shop, the quietest Titan stepped through the door again. When the shopkeeper saw her, he shouted into the back. "Yo Spike! Raven's back!"

Spike peeked out of the door. "Hey Raven. Just give me a sec to get your stuff." He ducked back into the back room and she could hear him rummaging around. She took the opportunity to relax–well, as much as she ever did, anyway. She'd spent the afternoon getting her things set up properly in her apartment. A moment later, Spike reappeared with her communicator in hand.

"Here you are, Raven," he said, placing the device on the counter between them. "I managed to get the locating abilities off without damaging the other hardware, and even added a nice little bit that will route your calls through enough different places that if someone tries to back-trace them, all they'll get is a lot of nothing."

"Thank you," Raven said honestly. "This... means a lot to me."

Spike smiled. "No problem. Just take this, okay?" he said, handing her a tiny black case with a chip inside. "If you're ever in trouble, just slip the chip back in and locating service will be restored so you can call for help if you need it."

"That's a good idea, thank you," Raven said again.

"Don't mention it," Spike replied, waving it off. "Do me a favor, kid," he said seriously. "Take care of yourself. 'Specially now that you don't have the rest of the team to watch your back."

"I will," Raven promised. Hesitating for a second, she quickly threw her arms around the surprised mechanic, withdrawing just as fast. The shopkeeper blinked. From what he knew of the dark Titan, she wasn't one for affection.

Turning to the shopkeeper, Raven asked, "How much do I owe you?"

The man shook his head. "This one's on me," he said. "If something's bad enough that you need to disappear, no charge."

Raven's mouth dropped open a little, then she shut it and nodded. With a final goodbye, she walked out of the store one more time.

Raven collapsed on the couch she'd just moved into her new apartment and looked around. It was a nice place, plenty of room. Though the others didn't know it, Raven had money. Quite a bit of it, too. In fact, this place wasn't the best she could've bought, but extravagance wasn't exactly her thing. Besides, she liked this apartment, even if the colors weren't as dark as her old room had been. Leaning her head back, she allowed herself a few minutes to rest before she did the thing she had been dreading most all day.

Deciding she'd put it off long enough, she sat up and pulled out her communicator. Entering the sequence that would let her call Starfire and _only _Starfire, she waited. A moment later, there was a buzz of static and the alien girl's face appeared on the screen.

"Friend Raven!" she exclaimed happily. "I have been searching for you!"

"You have?" Raven asked with a sinking feeling. No one was supposed to look for her yet!

"Indeed! I wish to venture to the mall of shopping, as Robin cannot accompany me to the living stories at this time, and I would like for you to come as well!"

"Star, I can't. Listen to me, this is important. Can you meet me somewhere?"

Starfire's brow furrowed. "Certainly I can. May I ask what is the matter?"

Raven shook her head. "I'll tell you when I see you. Can you come to that park, the one by the closed-down grocery?" She had chosen the spot carefully. It was always empty, not too near her new place, and there wasn't anything important nearby that Raven could blow up when she explained everything to Star.

"Yes. When do you wish to meet?" the redhead said, curious and a bit worried.

"Can you make it in five minutes?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Okay. I'll see you there," Raven replied, closing her communicator. She tucked it away and teleported to the park, moving to sit on an old bench underneath the trees.

A few minutes later, she saw a shape in the sky rapidly descending towards her. She didn't say anything as Starfire alighted in front of her, instead gesturing to the other half of the bench.

Taking a seat, Starfire immediately turned to her best friend. "Raven, what is the matter? I can feel that something is very wrong."

Raven took a deep breath. "I know that you want answers, but you need to let me explain everything first. I'm sure you'll understand when I'm done, okay?"

Starfire nodded seriously.

Raven bit her lip. "I'm leaving the Titans."

**A/N: Oh dear, that was kind of a mean place to end it... Ha. Still gonna post weekly, unless I'm ahead enough that I think I can post before next Monday. **

**I like reviews. And follows. And favorites. And puppies–wait, what?**

**Scar**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey everyone! Here's chapter three of The Ties That Bind. Just a warning and sort-of an apology–I am almost certain that Raven is going to be OOC for parts of this. Sorry.**

**Hope you like it!**

**Scarlet Shayde**

Starfire gasped. "If this is a joke it is not funny!" she cried, her face crumpling.

"It's not a joke, Star," Raven said, looking down. "I'm not kidding."

"But what are we to do without you? We are a team, we are a family!" Starfire wailed, getting even more upset with each passing moment.

Raven swallowed and tried to keep her emotions under control, but this was killing her.

"Starfire..." she started slowly, balling her fists up in her cloak. "Something happened, and I... I just... I can't..." She stopped for a moment. "Please, just let me explain," she asked in a low voice.

Starfire tried to compose herself, just a little. "Please, friend Raven, tell me why you feel you cannot stay with your friends," she pleaded, on the verge of tears.

Raven took a deep breath. "You know how I sometimes tell you things I'd never tell anyone else?" Starfire nodded frantically. "Do you... Do you remember when I confessed that I was having strange feelings for Beast Boy?" Raven asked, feeling a bit stupid.

"Of course," Star answered immediately, holding her tongue instead of shouting _What has he done to you?! _like she wanted to.

"Well, he... I mean, we..." Raven stopped and took a second to calm down after a rusty trash can flew into the air a few feet away. "We were alone in the tower a few days ago," she continued tonelessly. "You and Robin were on a date, Cyborg was at a car show. You remember?"

"Yes," Starfire said, recalling how just three days ago she had made Raven promise not to kill Beast Boy while they were all away.

"He was watching a movie. I was reading. I guess he got bored, because he started talking to me, and all of the sudden we're having a really serious conversation, which was something I didn't expect from him. Finally, he looked at me and just... _confessed_, I guess," she said, remembering how shocked she'd been, how secretly ecstatic. "He told me he was in love with me, had been for a while, and then he leaned over and kissed me without any warning."

Starfire had the urge to squeal in excitement and wrap her friend in a back-breaking hug. But the tone of Raven's voice stopped her. Somehow, this story didn't have a happy ending.

"I wasn't expecting it, but I kissed him back anyways. I felt so _happy_, Star. I thought something was finally going to go right for me, that I was going to get to be happy like I've never been before." Raven paused. "How stupid of me."

"Friend Raven, it is not stupid of you," Starfire said, distraught. "You deserve the happiness as much as anyone."

"Guess I don't," Raven said, sliding her eyes away. "We kept kissing and eventually we ended up in my room and..." she continued, turning a little pink. "We spent the night together."

The alien girl's eyes widened.

"The next morning I wake up, and I feel... _blissful._ I felt great. I hear him wake up so I turn over and he gives me this _look _and I can see it in his eyes." Raven let out a bitter laugh, digging her nails into her palms so hard she breaks skin. _Stay in control. Keep your emotions under wraps, _she begs herself. "Shock. Regret. _Disgust," _she hissed. "He gets up immediately and backs away, shaking his head. Right before he runs out of the door he says, _'I'm sorry, this was a mistake. We _never_ should have done this. I– I– don't really feel that way about you." _

Trash cans exploded, other benches went flying, and the tree limbs shook under the force of the agony Raven felt reliving that moment. For once she _couldn't _control herself and tears slipped out of her tightly closed eyes.

"_I don't feel that way about you!" _she cried in a near scream. "He said he _loved _me! No one, no one has ever said they loved me before and he _lied!"_

Starfire was crying now too. She wrapped her arms around Raven's thin shoulder, and the dark girl turned and sobbed into her best friend's shoulder. When Raven's tears finally subsided and the dark energy crackling the air around them died down, Starfire spoke.

"Raven, I am so sorry," she said in a whisper, tears clogging her voice. "I do not understand how he could do that to you."

"He lied," Raven repeated softly. "He lied and he broke my heart. Just like Malchior except I _never _felt this much for that dragon. Beast Boy–" she had to force the name out like it physically pained her. "H-he said something he _knows _I've longed to hear my whole life and then he turned around and took it away and ran a dagger through me at the same time."

Starfire gasped. "He _stabbed _you?!"

Raven let out a sound that was half-sob, half-laugh. "It's a figure of speech, Star. But he might as well have, it hurt so much."

Starfire tried to imagine that happening with her Robin. She couldn't even begin to envision how much pain she would have felt. "I am so sorry," she repeated, her eyes filling with water again. "But, please, do not leave us! What am I to do without you?"

"I have to leave, Star," Raven said, very carefully preparing her infamous poker face again. "Didn't you see all the damage I caused at the Tower? Every time I saw him, something inside me would tear and my powers would explode. Just think about what that would cause in a battle. I can't be around him at all," she whispered. "I tried, but I can't."

"Please," Starfire said, crying openly. "Will I never see you again?"

Raven smiled. It was a small, sorrowful thing, but it said that although she was sad she was thankful Starfire was there. "I'm not leaving town, Starfire. Of course you'll see me again. I can't leave you guys–you're my family. But I can't be part of the team anymore."

"Will you keep your communicator?" Starfire asked tearfully.

"Yes. But I had the location finder removed," Raven responded faintly.

Starfire took in a shaky breath and looked down. Meeting Raven's eyes again, she asked, "Why did you not tell the others this as well?"

"I don't want them to know why," Raven replied quickly. "But... I wanted you to know."

Starfire attempted a smile. They were so close, it was almost like they were sisters in the truest sense of the word. "What do you wish me to tell them?" she said softly.

"Just... tell them I can't be on the team anymore. Don't say why. If they ask, don't answer. Please, can you do that for me?"

"Of course," Starfire responded quietly. "You are my best friend."

Raven's lips turned up slightly, hoping that Starfire knew how much that meant to the dark girl who'd been alone most of her life. "You'll visit me, right? We can hang out and go shopping and such," she said.

"You would allow me to?" Starfire asked wide-eyed.

"As long as you don't tell the boys where I am and make sure they won't follow you or track us, yes. I'd really like that."

"I promise I shall not let them find you," Starfire said seriously. Raven knew that although most people thought Star couldn't keep a secret, she was one of the best at it. She wouldn't let the boys find Raven.

"I–I have to go, Star," Raven murmured.

Starfire tried to keep from crying again. "I understand." They stood, and Starfire pulled Raven into a hug which for once she did not hesitate to return. Then Raven stepped back, and with a last sad smile, her dark energy swallowed her.

**A/N: Yeah, so... sorry for the OOC-ness that was Raven's breakdown. I've never seen how she'd react to something that hurt her ****_this_**** much (the closest I could think of was the thing with Malchior, and as I said, she loved BB ****_waaayy_**** more than that bastard) so I kinda had to improvise. Hope it wasn't too bad, anyways. **

**I definitely couldn't see Raven putting herself in this situation, but it works for the ****fic.**

**So, let me know what you think! **

**Scar**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:... Ohmygod. I can't believe I _forgot_ to update! *apologizes profusely* Ugh, too much going ooonnnn... **

**But I digress. This is more of a filler chapter really, the big stuff is for the next update. 20 ****internets and an imaginary cookie to whoever can guess what's going to happen. It's kind of flippin' obvious. *facepalms herself***

**Reviews make my day, seriously. Constructive criticism is good, people!**

**Scarlet Shayde**

* * *

Starfire took to the sky the moment the last traces of Raven's dark powers faded. She was so sad, so upset, and so _angry _at Beast Boy she couldn't sit still. Starfire flew as fast as she could, pushing her powers to the limits, relishing the wind whipping her hair around her face.

When she got to the island, she landed noiselessly and stood for a second, staring at the door. Everything would be different once she crossed the threshold. She felt like as long as she stayed there, she could pretend that things were the same. That Raven's room was not be empty, that the ever-present herbal tea in the cupboards was still there, that Starfire's makeshift family was still whole.

But that was lying to herself.

She walked forward slowly, opening the door, taking slow steps down the hall. Halfway to the common room, she stopped. Falling to her knees, she buried her face in her hands and burst into tears.

She was crying so hard she didn't even notice Beast Boy strolling by, pausing, asking her if she was alright. When she didn't respond, he pulled out his communicator and called the others. He never even realized that Raven didn't answer.

"Guys, get down here! Something's wrong with Star," he said frantically, eyes still on the sobbing girl on the floor.

Robin was there so quickly Beast Boy thought he could've set a new record. He knelt next to his girlfriend and put his hands on her shaking shoulders.

Cyborg appeared next to Beast Boy. "Man, what happened?"

The green boy shook his head. "I don't know, dude. I was just walking by and here she was crying. She didn't say anything when I asked."

Starfire's sobs started to subside and she wiped the back of her hand across her face as she stood. "I... have news," she said hoarsely.

The boys crowded around her. "Starfire, what's wrong?" Robin asked, a worry-line appearing on his forehead.

"It is Raven. She has– She has–"

"What, Star? What happened to Raven?" Beast Boy demanded.

Starfire looked up with angry eyes and the boys all took an involuntary step back. "She has quit."

For a moment, there was nothing but stunned silence. Then Cyborg broke out shouting.

"Whaddaya mean she quit?!"

"I mean," Starfire answered with a hard voice, "That she has moved all her belongings and shall no longer be part of our team. She has _left_," she said, her voice breaking on the last word.

"But... She _can't_ quit," Beast Boy said in a disbelieving voice. Starfire felt righteous fury well within her and had to restrain herself from hitting the shapeshifter with her most powerful starbolts.

"She has."

"Why?" Cyborg asked. His baby sister wouldn't have just _left_...

"She does not wish to tell you."

"Star..." Robin began, reaching out to lay a hand on her shoulder. Starfire tossed it off and stalked away, another tear tracking its way down her cheek. The boys stared in shock as they heard a crash from the direction she'd left.

"What are we going to do?" Beast Boy asked. He had a sinking feeling that he knew _exactly _why Raven had refused to even see them before taking off.

Robin got a determined look on his face. "Well, we can't just let her walk away without even knowing if she's alright. Cyborg," he said, turning to the tall teen, "Can you track her communicator?"

"Yeah, if she has it with her," Cy answered with a nod.

"Let's go then."

Beast Boy stood for a moment before following the other two to the control room. If this was his fault... he'd never forgive himself.

Raven landed in her new living room and fell back to sit on the couch, head in her hands. That had been so hard, much harder than she thought it would be. At least she wouldn't have to cut Starfire completely out of her life. Hearing Starfire ask if they could still see each other had made Raven grateful to have her as a friend.

Still, she was sad she wouldn't be able to see Star every day anymore. Raven had never realized how much she'd miss her _best friend_ (it was still a foreign concept to her) until faced with not being able to see her. However, it was better this way. Maybe the broken pieces of her heart would begin to heal now. Or maybe not. One way or another, at least she wouldn't destroy the entire Tower.

Just as she thought that, her communicator began to beep.

Raven sat up and stared at it. She wanted to answer it–no, she couldn't. Seeing any of them, especially _him_, wouldn't help anyone right now.

Getting up, she wandered out of her living room and into her kitchen. Through the window, she could see the cold moon rising, just barely gracing the top of a skyscraper. She had been talking with Starfire longer than she'd thought. Opening a cupboard, she took down her favorite mug, the dark blue one with a black raven edged in silver on it Cyborg had given her. For a moment, she just stared at it. Then she mentally shook herself out of it and placed it on the counter before filling a kettle with water and setting it on the stove. Turning the burner on, she leaned back against the counter and became lost in thought as she waited for the water to boil.

Raven was startled out of her reverie by the shrill whistling of the kettle. Taking it off the burner and turning off the stove, she filled her mug and added herbal tea, letting it steep before tentatively sipping. It wasn't too strong; just the way she liked it. Meandering out of the kitchen, she headed straight for her bedroom. Setting the now empty mug on her nightstand, Raven let herself fall back onto her bed. Not even bothering to take off her cloak, she closed her eyes and resigned herself to a long night. Despite exhaustion seeping into her very bones, she knew it would be a long time before she got any sleep.

At Titans Tower, Robin and Beast Boy crowded around Cyborg. He got their impatience, but still. A man needs his _space._

"Back up, y'all. You're not helping." The two obligingly took a few tiny steps back. Well, it was better than nothing. "Just give me a sec to access my database." Cyborg's metal fingers flew across the keys. "Okay," he said after a moment, "I'm in the system. Now I just need to activate the locator on Raven's communicator..." As he trailed off, the other two looked at each other, then back at him.

"What is it, Cyborg?" Robin asked finally.

"I can't find it."

"You mean it's been deleted from the system, or wrecked, or turned off?"

"No. My system shows that Raven's communicator is working just fine. She can get calls and everything but somehow... She managed to turn off the locating capabilities."

"Can you turn them back on?" Beast Boy asked.

"I can try." A minute of frenzied typing later, Cy's hands stilled and he sighed. "No, I can't. Somebody knew what they were doing."

"You said we could still call her?" Robin questioned, pulling his communicator from his belt.

"Yeah," Cyborg answered, turning to face the others. "But you know as well as I do that if she doesn't want to answer she won't."

"We have to try," the Boy Wonder replied, hitting the button to call Raven. The three boys sat in silence as it rang, each hoping their missing teammate would pick up... each knowing she probably wouldn't.

She didn't.

Cyborg shoved himself out of his chair and stormed towards the door. Before he left, his fist connected solidly with the wall, sending up a cloud of plaster dust.

Beast Boy abruptly turned to follow. He wanted to cry, but he refused to. He didn't deserve any measure of comfort. _This is all your fault..._

Alone in the control room, Robin slumped into a chair. A member of his team was missing, and he didn't have a damn clue how to find her.

Raven was gone.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, so I think I'm going to try updating every other week instead... I gotta lot of crap going on right now and for some reason I seem to be more focused on my SE/Inu fix anyway. Sorry...**

**Scar**


	5. NOTE

**Hey, everyone. I really hate having to do this, but I'm pretty sure my muse was killed in action. Turns out there were more than a few problems with my storyline and I need to fix these and get my inspiration back before I can continue this. So for now, ****_The Ties That Bind _****is on indefinite hiatus. I'll get this started again as soon as I can, but until then I apologize for the wait.**

**Scarlet Shayde.**


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